quiet_tiger (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
quiet_tiger) wrote2006-02-17 12:13 am
quiet_tiger) wrote2006-02-17 12:13 am
Men's Skating
Anyone follow the Olympics tonight, particularly the men's freeskate in figure skating?
I like watching the skating, useless skill and all. But the men's is particularly interesting. My roommate and I were trying to decide which skater had the gayest outfit. He left before the final group, but we decided that the Canadian guy, with the purple pants, black top, and teal straps with the buckles wins that contest from the earlier groups. Please, tell me someone else watched that guy skate! His purple pants were *way* too tight, his ass was, like, totally on display, and you could see the outline of his package, which is probably possible with all these guys, but since they mostly wear black pants their bulge isn't too noticeable. White collar with pointy ends. His top was crossed with teal straps of an unknown material, and they weren't symetrical or anything sensical like that. There was one straight down his back, which was just weird. There was also a purple oval over his shoulder blades, and I couldn't figure out what was up with that. I think that it wasn't even the strap thingies, it's that they were loose at one end, flapping as he skated, and it was kind of reminiscent of the loose straps on a straightjacket. Also, at the base of his spine, the costume had some sort of white something shaped like an arrow, totally pointing to his ass. We decided that he was the Gay Submissive.
This name makes more sense in light of the first guy we saw, who was wearing black with neon green/sparkly stripe dealies, with mesh sleeves that ended in those finger gloves over his hands. Donald, my roommate, dubbed him the Gay Space Fighter (and various other futuristic-themed titles). The second guy, Van Den Parren of Belgium, was dubbed the Gay Hunter because of his Renessaince/Hunter style costume. Did you see him? He was red and sparkly, and had a big fake belt, and Medieval style laces down his sleeves and legs. He also had a cartilage piercing in his left ear. He was utterly adorable with this, and chose music to perfectly compliment his costume. Donald and I totally cheered for him, raptly watching the performace (as opposed to later guys, who we barely even watched).
The next guy was dubbed the Gay Pirate, because of his poofy sleeves, until we realized his music was more Spanish-sounding, so Donald named him the Gay Matador. His costume was totally black, and for some reason was very distracting. He had a cummerbund thingy that probably should have been red, not black. The next guy, Evan Lysacek, I feel took over the mantle of Gay Pirate because while his outfit was all black, the entire front was ruffles.
In the last group, I vote the gayest outfit goes to the Swiss guy, with the tiger stripes thing. White on the front, orange on the back, and blue sparkly sleeves. He looked, to be frank, quite ridiculous. I'm not good with the naming thing, but he's definitely the Gay Something. Then Johnny Weir came up, with his teal-ruffles-on-black thing. For some reason the ruffles made me think of ocean-dwelling fish. He was too sparkly and too ruffly. He looked silly. It was meshy, too.
How cute is the blonde Canadian guy (Jeffrey Buttle)??
And now the last guy, the Japanese guy. Black outfit, or is that really dark purple? The picture isn't too clear. The top is mesh purple with sparkles, and looks like he was going for some sort of winged/caped look. He looks like a flying squirrel or something.
I'd really like to learn the history of the men's costumes, and why they can't choose outfits that are less silly. It's one thing in the pairs, where they are supposed to try to match their female partners, but just watching the men skate around in bright colors, ruffles, sequins, sparkles (and whatever the heck those straps were) makes them all look so queer. Which is a terrible thing to say, but I can't help it. I wonder if the skaters pick their own outfits, or if someone else chooses them. I clearly know nothing.
I like watching the skating, useless skill and all. But the men's is particularly interesting. My roommate and I were trying to decide which skater had the gayest outfit. He left before the final group, but we decided that the Canadian guy, with the purple pants, black top, and teal straps with the buckles wins that contest from the earlier groups. Please, tell me someone else watched that guy skate! His purple pants were *way* too tight, his ass was, like, totally on display, and you could see the outline of his package, which is probably possible with all these guys, but since they mostly wear black pants their bulge isn't too noticeable. White collar with pointy ends. His top was crossed with teal straps of an unknown material, and they weren't symetrical or anything sensical like that. There was one straight down his back, which was just weird. There was also a purple oval over his shoulder blades, and I couldn't figure out what was up with that. I think that it wasn't even the strap thingies, it's that they were loose at one end, flapping as he skated, and it was kind of reminiscent of the loose straps on a straightjacket. Also, at the base of his spine, the costume had some sort of white something shaped like an arrow, totally pointing to his ass. We decided that he was the Gay Submissive.
This name makes more sense in light of the first guy we saw, who was wearing black with neon green/sparkly stripe dealies, with mesh sleeves that ended in those finger gloves over his hands. Donald, my roommate, dubbed him the Gay Space Fighter (and various other futuristic-themed titles). The second guy, Van Den Parren of Belgium, was dubbed the Gay Hunter because of his Renessaince/Hunter style costume. Did you see him? He was red and sparkly, and had a big fake belt, and Medieval style laces down his sleeves and legs. He also had a cartilage piercing in his left ear. He was utterly adorable with this, and chose music to perfectly compliment his costume. Donald and I totally cheered for him, raptly watching the performace (as opposed to later guys, who we barely even watched).
The next guy was dubbed the Gay Pirate, because of his poofy sleeves, until we realized his music was more Spanish-sounding, so Donald named him the Gay Matador. His costume was totally black, and for some reason was very distracting. He had a cummerbund thingy that probably should have been red, not black. The next guy, Evan Lysacek, I feel took over the mantle of Gay Pirate because while his outfit was all black, the entire front was ruffles.
In the last group, I vote the gayest outfit goes to the Swiss guy, with the tiger stripes thing. White on the front, orange on the back, and blue sparkly sleeves. He looked, to be frank, quite ridiculous. I'm not good with the naming thing, but he's definitely the Gay Something. Then Johnny Weir came up, with his teal-ruffles-on-black thing. For some reason the ruffles made me think of ocean-dwelling fish. He was too sparkly and too ruffly. He looked silly. It was meshy, too.
How cute is the blonde Canadian guy (Jeffrey Buttle)??
And now the last guy, the Japanese guy. Black outfit, or is that really dark purple? The picture isn't too clear. The top is mesh purple with sparkles, and looks like he was going for some sort of winged/caped look. He looks like a flying squirrel or something.
I'd really like to learn the history of the men's costumes, and why they can't choose outfits that are less silly. It's one thing in the pairs, where they are supposed to try to match their female partners, but just watching the men skate around in bright colors, ruffles, sequins, sparkles (and whatever the heck those straps were) makes them all look so queer. Which is a terrible thing to say, but I can't help it. I wonder if the skaters pick their own outfits, or if someone else chooses them. I clearly know nothing.
no subject
My only guess is that, for freestyle, tight and stretchy material allows the most movement and minimizes the risk of snagging your skate on your own pant leg? (which has happened, and leads to some nasty falls)
no subject
It's not even the pants that were the worst in that one guy's costume. Yes, they were purple. Yes, they were way too tight. But... the straps! He looked ridiculous. I can understand the tight pants. But if you're gonna go for the groin-hugging pants, make them a dark color so people can't see the outline of your dick. Dark colors are slimming and help hide flaws. These guys need women in their lives to tell them that. Or wear a cup or something.
And the shirts. Dear Lord, the shirts. Ruffles and sequins and mesh, oh my! Watching them is fun, but it's so easy to make fun of them. :D
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But there's no way Garth could look that gay, even if he were in an orgy with Robin, Kid Flash, and Speedy.
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no subject