quiet_tiger (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
quiet_tiger) wrote2006-02-01 10:17 pm
quiet_tiger) wrote2006-02-01 10:17 pm
Fic: Control
Title: Control
Pairing: Tim/Kon
Rating: NC-17/Adult
Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were, the basis for this would never have happened.
Summary: Tim needs help. Kon provides it.
Note: Takes place after TT 20(?) but doesn't really contain spoilers unless you don't know the fate of Tim's dad.
~*~*~
Exhausted after voicing his feelings and fears to his teammates, Tim shut his door and collapsed onto his bed. No one wanted him to be alone, but he couldn’t keep looking at them any longer, the way they all looked so concerned and as if they were experiencing his pain.
He didn’t even know how he felt, so how could they?
He had begged off, expressing that he was grateful for their help, but that he needed to sort things out by himself. So here he was, alone, lying on his bed feeling sorry for himself and a whole bunch of other nameless people. He couldn’t explain it.
He unhooked his cape but didn’t bother getting up to actually remove it from his person. He also wasn’t in the mood to take off anything else. At the moment, he was quite content to lie there and stare at his ceiling.
Just when he was starting to get somewhat bored, or, more accurately, depressed, there was a tentative knock at his door. “Yes?”
“Can I come in?” Kon’s voice. Of all the other people at the Tower, Tim could probably only handle Kon right now. Usually it was Kon coming to him with his existential crisis every week, so maybe he could reciprocate what Tim usually said to make him feel better.
Hell. To just make him feel.
“Okay.” The door cracked open, and Kon slipped in. He shut the door right away, and the room was once again dark, Tim’s blinds blocking out the night’s light.
Kon didn’t ask if he was okay. He didn’t ask if he wanted to talk. Tim was fine with that. Kon joined him on the bed, kicking off his boots so he could fold his legs up. They existed in silence, Tim listening to Kon breathe, until Kon started to fidget.
Tim rolled his head to the side, taking in his friend from the new angle. “You okay over there?”
“It’s too quiet. And I’m supposed to be asking you that.”
“I’m glad you haven’t. If Cassie asked me that one more time, I was going to have to use a Batgag on her.”
“You have those?”
“Any kind of cloth will do. I’m just in the habit of using Batman’s signature on everything.”
Kon chuckled. “You want to watch a movie or anything?”
“Not particularly.” Tim just wanted to sit and think. About why it hurt so much. About why ignoring his feelings only made it hurt worse. And yet he still felt numb.
Or hollow. “I just…”
“What?”
“I don’t know.”
Kon inched closer, and reached for Tim’s hand in the darkness. His gauntlet prevented him from fully feeling the touch, so he pulled out of Kon’s grasp and took them both off. Reaching back, he found Kon’s warm, slightly sweaty hand.
Kon squeezed him, and it felt good. Eventually, Kon leaned down and kissed him, and it felt even better.
Tim kissed back, shifting until the angle was good for him to really control the kiss. Kon pulled back long enough to ask, “You okay with this?” Tim answered by reaching up with his other hand and tugging Kon back to him.
Another minute or two exchanging sloppy kisses, and Tim had to breathe. “More than okay. I think I really need this.”
“The usual way? Or do you want to switch?”
Fuck. “I think we need to switch. I think… I need the chance to be in control of something again.”
“You got it.” Kon had always topped before, but Tim usually initiated the encounter. That might be why Tim was as aroused now as he was, his erection straining painfully against his jock as he thought about what it would be like to top at Kon’s suggestion.
Kon had mastered his TTK, but he still couldn’t get Tim’s belt off, so while Tim worked on that, Kon continued to kiss him. Kon reached for his own shirt, but Tim stopped his hand. “Let me.” Tim flipped over onto his knees, knocking Kon backwards. Spread out before him, Kon looked hot. At least, Tim assumed he did.
Because it was still dark, and he wanted to see everything, Tim changed to the night vision lenses in his mask.
Kon was definitely hot.
Ignoring his own need to be unclothed, Tim stripped Kon out of his shirt, jeans, and boxers. He left his socks on. He attacked Kon’s chest with his mouth, his friend writhing at the sudden onslaught. “Tim. Fuck.”
“Mmm.” Tim pulled off, leaning back on his heels. He wondered why he still had his boots and tights on. “Play with yourself while I undress.”
“I can’t really see.”
Tim raised an eyebrow, even though Kon couldn’t see the gesture. “Do you really need to? You should know where it is by now.”
“Har har. I just mean… Can we turn a light on?”
“Would you stop wanting this if I said no?”
“No.”
“Then, no.” Tim stood on the floor to finish getting out of his uniform, Kon’s fingers working lighting over his own shaft, using the foreskin. Tim quickly used the camera in his mask to snap a few photos.
While he was up, he went to the drawer where he kept supplies, unlike in Kon’s room where they were kept underneath the bed. Climbing back on, Tim hovered over Kon. “You’re hot when you do that, you know.”
“I’m always hot.”
“I’m not going to argue.” Tim thought about what he wanted, then decided to just go with what they had started. “If this hurts, let me know.”
“Okay.” Spreading Kon’s thighs, Tim got between them and started to lick. Not a lot, just enough to make Kon squirm as his tongue laved the sensitive skin of Kon’s groin. As Kon groaned, Tim lubed up his fingers. He pressed one in, hoping it didn’t hurt even as some sadistic part of him hoped it did. Maybe he did need professional help.
Tim worked steadily, probably too fast, but Kon didn’t complain. Unless Tim was misinterpreting groans of pleasure. He was so hard he didn’t really care, he was just so eager for this. To do nothing but feel with his body instead of his mind. To stop thinking for the first time since he saw his father…
No. Back to the present. Kon writhing on his fingers, moans filling the air along with the heavy scent of arousal.
“Tim…”
“Yeah.”
“You about ready? I think I’m going to go nuts…”
Tim reached for and jabbed at what he assumed was Kon’s prostate, and was awarded by a muffled scream as Kon chewed on his own hand. “Yes, I’m ready. I just wanted to make sure you are.” Tim scraped the gland again.
“Fuck, yes, please…”
“Beg some more.” Please.
“Please, Tim, fuck me now or so help you God all of you will fit into that stupid belt!”
Threats of violence during sex. It probably would have been easy to ignore if Tim didn’t know that Kon could do that if he really wanted to. As it was, it was kind of a turn on.
“Wait for it.” This is for me, Kon.
Tim leaned down and licked the head of Kon’s cock. “Tim! Now!” Kon pushed up against his fingers. Tim pulled them out and ignored Kon’s grunt, simply watching Kon’s discomfort. He then slowly rolled on the condom he’d gotten when he grabbed the lube, and thrust in.
Kon’s body was pretty welcoming, and Tim slid in fairly easily. Kon reached out to Tim, and Tim adjusted both of them a bit until Kon was able to pull him down into a kiss. Tim surged forwards, taking his own pleasure from Kon.
Kon didn’t really seem to mind, if his string of pleased curses was any indication.
Tim propped himself on one hand, and reached between them to get a hold on Kon’s dick. Kon reached down with the hand that wasn’t tugging on Tim’s hair, but Tim smacked it away. Kon seemed to get it, and just let Tim do what he wanted. Tim jerked Kon off in rhythm with his thrusts, the action getting harder as he found it difficult to even breathe with any sort of rhythm.
“Fuck, Tim, now…” Kon’s warning, if that’s what it was, came three seconds before he came all over them. Kon was barely through his aftershocks when Tim pulled out. “What…” Without a word, Tim grabbed Kon’s hip, trying to get him to roll over.
Kon took the hint after a minute, and once he was on his stomach Tim pulled him up to his knees and braced himself over the large, sweaty back in front of him. He pushed back in, intent on finishing as hard as he needed to. God, it was good. To just feel with his flesh and not his brain. No pain in this. No fear. No tears. Just him and Kon and enough endorphins and dopamine rushing through his body that everything felt good. Better than good.
He dug his hand into Kon’s hip, knowing it wouldn’t really hurt him, and he worked hard with him, against him, whichever it was, until the final wave just hit him and he had to cry out as his body shook with completion.
He fell off of Kon’s back, slipping out in the process. He didn’t care enough to take off the condom, but Kon did it for him. Kon returned to his back, and Tim didn’t protest when he pulled him over him, propping Tim’s head on his chest. He rubbed at Tim’s back, and Tim… Broke down again. Tears dripped onto Kon’s chest, and Kon continued to rub and sooth.
Finally, Tim was able to speak again without his emotions betraying him. “I hate this.”
“I know.”
“God, I’m sorry. We just had great… well, sex, anyway… and now… Are you okay? I was kinda. Rough. There.”
“It was great. Believe me. You probably couldn’t tell, but I came again, right before you did. You just kept hitting all the right spots.” Kon hugged him a little, and Tim chuckled damply.
“Thank you.” For a lot more than the compliment.
“You’re welcome. Like I said, you help me with my daddy issues, and I help you through your problems.”
They lapsed into silence again, Tim lulled by Kon’s heartbeat and warm hands. After a while, Tim asked quietly, “Does it get any easier?”
“Sex? Yes and no, I assume.”
“No. Death.”
“Oh. No, I don’t think that does.”
“Oh.”
“Are you okay?”
“No. I handle mental pain by hiding it, beating the shit out of people, then bursting into tears, and then fucking my friend, and then bursting into tears. It’s not good.”
“It’s not bad, either. You’re dealing.”
“Not well.”
“Better than nothing. Better than just letting it eat at you without any release, waiting to make you crazy.”
“Yeah… I just need to be in control of something again, since anything I had was shattered.”
“I’m here to help you, in any way you need. Especially if you need to just have sex.” Kon patted Tim's shoulder.
Tim felt better. Physically, and maybe even mentally. Not great, but better. Kon was definitely welcome to help him out any time he wanted.
~*~*~
Pairing: Tim/Kon
Rating: NC-17/Adult
Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were, the basis for this would never have happened.
Summary: Tim needs help. Kon provides it.
Note: Takes place after TT 20(?) but doesn't really contain spoilers unless you don't know the fate of Tim's dad.
~*~*~
Exhausted after voicing his feelings and fears to his teammates, Tim shut his door and collapsed onto his bed. No one wanted him to be alone, but he couldn’t keep looking at them any longer, the way they all looked so concerned and as if they were experiencing his pain.
He didn’t even know how he felt, so how could they?
He had begged off, expressing that he was grateful for their help, but that he needed to sort things out by himself. So here he was, alone, lying on his bed feeling sorry for himself and a whole bunch of other nameless people. He couldn’t explain it.
He unhooked his cape but didn’t bother getting up to actually remove it from his person. He also wasn’t in the mood to take off anything else. At the moment, he was quite content to lie there and stare at his ceiling.
Just when he was starting to get somewhat bored, or, more accurately, depressed, there was a tentative knock at his door. “Yes?”
“Can I come in?” Kon’s voice. Of all the other people at the Tower, Tim could probably only handle Kon right now. Usually it was Kon coming to him with his existential crisis every week, so maybe he could reciprocate what Tim usually said to make him feel better.
Hell. To just make him feel.
“Okay.” The door cracked open, and Kon slipped in. He shut the door right away, and the room was once again dark, Tim’s blinds blocking out the night’s light.
Kon didn’t ask if he was okay. He didn’t ask if he wanted to talk. Tim was fine with that. Kon joined him on the bed, kicking off his boots so he could fold his legs up. They existed in silence, Tim listening to Kon breathe, until Kon started to fidget.
Tim rolled his head to the side, taking in his friend from the new angle. “You okay over there?”
“It’s too quiet. And I’m supposed to be asking you that.”
“I’m glad you haven’t. If Cassie asked me that one more time, I was going to have to use a Batgag on her.”
“You have those?”
“Any kind of cloth will do. I’m just in the habit of using Batman’s signature on everything.”
Kon chuckled. “You want to watch a movie or anything?”
“Not particularly.” Tim just wanted to sit and think. About why it hurt so much. About why ignoring his feelings only made it hurt worse. And yet he still felt numb.
Or hollow. “I just…”
“What?”
“I don’t know.”
Kon inched closer, and reached for Tim’s hand in the darkness. His gauntlet prevented him from fully feeling the touch, so he pulled out of Kon’s grasp and took them both off. Reaching back, he found Kon’s warm, slightly sweaty hand.
Kon squeezed him, and it felt good. Eventually, Kon leaned down and kissed him, and it felt even better.
Tim kissed back, shifting until the angle was good for him to really control the kiss. Kon pulled back long enough to ask, “You okay with this?” Tim answered by reaching up with his other hand and tugging Kon back to him.
Another minute or two exchanging sloppy kisses, and Tim had to breathe. “More than okay. I think I really need this.”
“The usual way? Or do you want to switch?”
Fuck. “I think we need to switch. I think… I need the chance to be in control of something again.”
“You got it.” Kon had always topped before, but Tim usually initiated the encounter. That might be why Tim was as aroused now as he was, his erection straining painfully against his jock as he thought about what it would be like to top at Kon’s suggestion.
Kon had mastered his TTK, but he still couldn’t get Tim’s belt off, so while Tim worked on that, Kon continued to kiss him. Kon reached for his own shirt, but Tim stopped his hand. “Let me.” Tim flipped over onto his knees, knocking Kon backwards. Spread out before him, Kon looked hot. At least, Tim assumed he did.
Because it was still dark, and he wanted to see everything, Tim changed to the night vision lenses in his mask.
Kon was definitely hot.
Ignoring his own need to be unclothed, Tim stripped Kon out of his shirt, jeans, and boxers. He left his socks on. He attacked Kon’s chest with his mouth, his friend writhing at the sudden onslaught. “Tim. Fuck.”
“Mmm.” Tim pulled off, leaning back on his heels. He wondered why he still had his boots and tights on. “Play with yourself while I undress.”
“I can’t really see.”
Tim raised an eyebrow, even though Kon couldn’t see the gesture. “Do you really need to? You should know where it is by now.”
“Har har. I just mean… Can we turn a light on?”
“Would you stop wanting this if I said no?”
“No.”
“Then, no.” Tim stood on the floor to finish getting out of his uniform, Kon’s fingers working lighting over his own shaft, using the foreskin. Tim quickly used the camera in his mask to snap a few photos.
While he was up, he went to the drawer where he kept supplies, unlike in Kon’s room where they were kept underneath the bed. Climbing back on, Tim hovered over Kon. “You’re hot when you do that, you know.”
“I’m always hot.”
“I’m not going to argue.” Tim thought about what he wanted, then decided to just go with what they had started. “If this hurts, let me know.”
“Okay.” Spreading Kon’s thighs, Tim got between them and started to lick. Not a lot, just enough to make Kon squirm as his tongue laved the sensitive skin of Kon’s groin. As Kon groaned, Tim lubed up his fingers. He pressed one in, hoping it didn’t hurt even as some sadistic part of him hoped it did. Maybe he did need professional help.
Tim worked steadily, probably too fast, but Kon didn’t complain. Unless Tim was misinterpreting groans of pleasure. He was so hard he didn’t really care, he was just so eager for this. To do nothing but feel with his body instead of his mind. To stop thinking for the first time since he saw his father…
No. Back to the present. Kon writhing on his fingers, moans filling the air along with the heavy scent of arousal.
“Tim…”
“Yeah.”
“You about ready? I think I’m going to go nuts…”
Tim reached for and jabbed at what he assumed was Kon’s prostate, and was awarded by a muffled scream as Kon chewed on his own hand. “Yes, I’m ready. I just wanted to make sure you are.” Tim scraped the gland again.
“Fuck, yes, please…”
“Beg some more.” Please.
“Please, Tim, fuck me now or so help you God all of you will fit into that stupid belt!”
Threats of violence during sex. It probably would have been easy to ignore if Tim didn’t know that Kon could do that if he really wanted to. As it was, it was kind of a turn on.
“Wait for it.” This is for me, Kon.
Tim leaned down and licked the head of Kon’s cock. “Tim! Now!” Kon pushed up against his fingers. Tim pulled them out and ignored Kon’s grunt, simply watching Kon’s discomfort. He then slowly rolled on the condom he’d gotten when he grabbed the lube, and thrust in.
Kon’s body was pretty welcoming, and Tim slid in fairly easily. Kon reached out to Tim, and Tim adjusted both of them a bit until Kon was able to pull him down into a kiss. Tim surged forwards, taking his own pleasure from Kon.
Kon didn’t really seem to mind, if his string of pleased curses was any indication.
Tim propped himself on one hand, and reached between them to get a hold on Kon’s dick. Kon reached down with the hand that wasn’t tugging on Tim’s hair, but Tim smacked it away. Kon seemed to get it, and just let Tim do what he wanted. Tim jerked Kon off in rhythm with his thrusts, the action getting harder as he found it difficult to even breathe with any sort of rhythm.
“Fuck, Tim, now…” Kon’s warning, if that’s what it was, came three seconds before he came all over them. Kon was barely through his aftershocks when Tim pulled out. “What…” Without a word, Tim grabbed Kon’s hip, trying to get him to roll over.
Kon took the hint after a minute, and once he was on his stomach Tim pulled him up to his knees and braced himself over the large, sweaty back in front of him. He pushed back in, intent on finishing as hard as he needed to. God, it was good. To just feel with his flesh and not his brain. No pain in this. No fear. No tears. Just him and Kon and enough endorphins and dopamine rushing through his body that everything felt good. Better than good.
He dug his hand into Kon’s hip, knowing it wouldn’t really hurt him, and he worked hard with him, against him, whichever it was, until the final wave just hit him and he had to cry out as his body shook with completion.
He fell off of Kon’s back, slipping out in the process. He didn’t care enough to take off the condom, but Kon did it for him. Kon returned to his back, and Tim didn’t protest when he pulled him over him, propping Tim’s head on his chest. He rubbed at Tim’s back, and Tim… Broke down again. Tears dripped onto Kon’s chest, and Kon continued to rub and sooth.
Finally, Tim was able to speak again without his emotions betraying him. “I hate this.”
“I know.”
“God, I’m sorry. We just had great… well, sex, anyway… and now… Are you okay? I was kinda. Rough. There.”
“It was great. Believe me. You probably couldn’t tell, but I came again, right before you did. You just kept hitting all the right spots.” Kon hugged him a little, and Tim chuckled damply.
“Thank you.” For a lot more than the compliment.
“You’re welcome. Like I said, you help me with my daddy issues, and I help you through your problems.”
They lapsed into silence again, Tim lulled by Kon’s heartbeat and warm hands. After a while, Tim asked quietly, “Does it get any easier?”
“Sex? Yes and no, I assume.”
“No. Death.”
“Oh. No, I don’t think that does.”
“Oh.”
“Are you okay?”
“No. I handle mental pain by hiding it, beating the shit out of people, then bursting into tears, and then fucking my friend, and then bursting into tears. It’s not good.”
“It’s not bad, either. You’re dealing.”
“Not well.”
“Better than nothing. Better than just letting it eat at you without any release, waiting to make you crazy.”
“Yeah… I just need to be in control of something again, since anything I had was shattered.”
“I’m here to help you, in any way you need. Especially if you need to just have sex.” Kon patted Tim's shoulder.
Tim felt better. Physically, and maybe even mentally. Not great, but better. Kon was definitely welcome to help him out any time he wanted.
~*~*~
no subject
That was really, Really, REALLY good.
Porny, but in no way was it PWP. That had purpose, and plot, was a fantastic depiction of angst-ridden schmoop. (that's a paradox, right? Meh.)
Your portrayal of Tim's pain and the pain of dealing with the pain was just great. And your Kon was fabulous, too; he may not be a great thinker, but he knows what he knows just fine, and Kon knows how to help his friends.
I reallY liked this (if you couldn't tell, heh); thank you for sharing it with us.
no subject
I just love how Tim and Kon work together, and that now Kon can help Tim with something, rather than Tim just working Kon through his Luthor issues (I know that much more has happened on that front but they either haven't gotten there yet in trades or it hasn't been where I've gone).
Tim trying to work through his feelings like Batman would means he has no freaking clue about what he's feeling or how to deal with it, and Kon can just... be there for him.
And dude, you can *totally* have angsty schmoop. These boys were, like, designed for it. *pets them*
Thanks again for the comments! :)
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They were, weren't they? *g*
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And on a totally different note, in case you didn't see it, I posted a (long) sequel to my Batfamily Vacation fic, here http://quiet--tiger.livejournal.com/65115.html. Just letting you know 'cause you liked the first one so much.
Thanks again. :)
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You mean Catman? :P
Tim just can't learn certain things from Batman, and it shows. Thank GOD Tim has the Titans. And of course, Kon, who is there to help in any way he can (and you know he doesn't exactly hate helping Tim in this instance).
Thanks for the comments!
no subject
I just have to say that this was SO good. I pretty much like anything with Tim, but I thought before that I preferred him with Dick. You made me like Tim/Kon that much more. This was excellent. I don't know what else to say.
Mind if I friend you?
no subject
Isn't Tim the best? I used to like him with Dick, too, but I have since realized that Tim needs to be with Kon, and Dick should be with Roy.
In case you're curious, I have long Dick/Tim (and Bruce/Wally) stuff, here http://quiet--tiger.livejournal.com/51613.html and the sequel here http://quiet--tiger.livejournal.com/65115.html.
Thanks for the comments! Go ahead and friend!
no subject
I love Dick with Roy, but that relationship is so different from Tim and Dick's. Roy/Dick is sexy and hot and full of raw passion, while Tim/Dick is more love and sweet and long term. Maybe it's just because Roy is such a lady's man and Tim is so stable of a person.
I'm just getting used to Tim/Kon, btw, because I only just started reading Teen Titans, whereas I've been reading the Outsiders since it began. I'm getting to know Kon in a way.
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At first I didn't really know who Kon was, but I read a lot more fic because I liked Tim, and then I picked up the TT trades, and then started with Outsiders about a month ago (Outsiders is freaking awesome). I really like these titles because they're relatively new so there isn't, like, 20 years or more of backstory, you just need to have an idea of the characters' pasts.
Roy seriously cracks me up sometimes. He and Dick... *snort*
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Thanks for the comments!
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I mean, I think it's uncharacteristic of Kon to give in without reason, and you did such a good job giving him a reason.
This pairing is such a power struggle in my brain.
I love the coping mechanism aspect of it.
It's very believable.
I've been in a situation similar to Tim's, dealing with death, and I know that burying yourself in anything
even your best friend's assis a coping mechanism of sorts.Good work.
Tim raised an eyebrow, even though Kon couldn’t see the gesture. “Do you really need to? You should know where it is by now.”
That's my favorite part.
Seriously.
“Please, Tim, fuck me now or so help you God all of you will fit into that stupid belt!”
Though that's a very close second.
no subject
""
Tim seems like he doesn't cope well, and if given the chance to try to lose himself, even for a little while, he'd take it. Death really seems to mess people up, especially if they can't find a way to cope. I'm glad that in light of your experience, this piece still works (though I'm sorry for your loss).
Hehe, I try to make things funny where at all possible, and little jokes take away the seriousness that can be read into the piece. I can see Kon flipping Tim off after he says that line. And then Kon threatening to vaporize Tim or whatever... to most people that would be an empty threat. But with people who have heat vision... Just a whole new dynamic.
Thank you so much for the comments, it's always nice to hear that something works as I hoped it did. :)
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Man. I know how it goes.
But any escape from pain, no matter how fleeting, can be good.
Tim needs to figure that out. XDAnd humor is always good in fics, especially ones with angst, I think.
Tim/Kon provides openings for that, I think.
XD!
Vaporize. That's awesome.
You bet!
no subject
I'm way more a fan of funny/happy fics than I am of the angsty, painful ones, but I really don't think any pairing in DC can be done without *any* angst. At least, I haven't found myself able to write anyone without some sort of Issue coming up.
:)
no subject
And too close to home for me, but that's neither here nor there....
ON KON AWAY. THAT'S AWESOME.
And unfortunately DC is so full of DA ANGST YO that it's hard to have any pairing lack it.
But I like dark fics, so.....
I'm screwy like that. XD
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Maybe that's why- I don't do sad if I can avoid it. Real life is depressing enough, I don't want to deal with sadness in my entertainment.
But yeah, it impossible to avoid any character angsting about something. Oh, well. Leads for good stories.
no subject
If fantasy isn't an ESCAPE then why bother, right?
Angst always makes the best plot bunnies. XD