quiet_tiger (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
quiet_tiger) wrote2006-01-22 06:29 pm
quiet_tiger) wrote2006-01-22 06:29 pm
Smallville: Lockdown
The episode was called "Lockdown," was it? Maybe a more accurate title would have been "Standstill," since that's where I feel this show is.
(in case you don't know why I phrase subtitles like I do, it's a reference to Friends, where every episode title begins with "The One With.")
I'm really glad that it was cleared up that Lex built his panic room recently, 'cause I was majorly confused as to why we didn't know about it before. And is it where the vault was? Or is the vault in another room?
Lana on sex and romance:
"I can feel how much you want me." Yeah, the tensing, hesitation, and overall frigidity must really be a good indication of how much someone wants to bang you. And they were only kissing, right? He wasn't pressing an erection into her or anything.
"It shouldn't be complicated." Dude. Love is complicated. Yeah, in theory, it's not, but in practice, hell yeah things are going to go wrong and get in the way. Even in fairy tales there's some kind of conflict before they live happily ever after and ride off into the sunset or whatever. The more Clark loves you, Lana, the more complicated it's gonna get unless he's stupid and shares his secret.
And for the love of God, they can fool around in ways without Clark actually penetrating her and risking hurting her. These kids need the Internet. Though the odds of Lana ever checking out any sort of site related to sex, either for pornography or sheer education, are pretty slim.
Anyone else catch the anvil? Clark blathers about "I can't imagine loving anyone else" right as Lois pulls up. We get it. Lois and Clark actually get married in DC's fucked up little world. But this is also a world where kids die and grown men dress up as bats and robots have sex, so, who knows what's ever actually going on.
My response when Lex comes out of the room to save Lana: Dammit, Lex. I really will never figure him out.
Clark can apparently speed though/vibrate through doors like the Flash, unless Chloe was doing her homework with the door open. I will say, even with how much I dislike this show now, I do enjoy the little bits where Clark uses his powers around Chloe. Makes me happy.
Dude. When Sherriff Adams got shot, anyone else have "I Shot The Sherriff" running through their head? I'm awful, I know. I can't believe they killed her off. She's like the only character who seems to know that Clark has aces and stuff up his sleeve, other than Lana the Ignorant and Lex the In Denial.
If I hear someone on the show use the expression "psychotic break" one more time... I think I said that the *last* time it was used. I did groan quite a bit this time.
So, Lex is dying (again) and Lana's crying all over him, and the only thing he can think of to talk about is hair? And then the slashiest thing in a while: "Clark has really nice hair." You checking it out, Lexy? He does have nice hair. It would be nicer if TW were allowed to have it styled in something other than Farmboy Hick.
So... Clark was jealous that Lex saved Lana's life? They have quite the pissing contest going on, don't they?
Jonathan sold "the back 40," however much of the farm that is. Jonathan makes me sad. Very sad. his platitudes, his not taking what he could use *every* time, selling off his farm without talking to Martha (wasn't she uber pissed the last time he did that?)... Grr.
Overall, the episode wasn't horrendously awful, but it wasn't good, either. I'm tired of this magical election that sprung up out of nowhere, I'm tired of Clana, and I feel like they're trying to skooch Chloe even farther out of the show. Again. On Buffy Willow was the intel girl, but she was also part of the show! Chloe's more like the Lone Gunmen or something now.
I really, really don't care who dies. We've been told for four months that someone will die. Every week for the last several weeks. Heck, every *night* for the last several weeks if you watch other stuff on the WB. Every single last ounce of suspense has been taken out of it. Even *if* I didn't want just about everyone on the show to die anyway, we've had the last several months etc to harden ourselves to the truth that someone will die. Steel yourself enough, and you won't care.
Besides, the only person they could kill off is Chloe. *ducks things thrown at me for saying the words* Look into the future (like, pick up the latest Superman comic). Clark can't die. Lex can't die. Lois can't die. Since Kon lives with Ma and Pa Kent, neither of them can die or it won't fit canon (though didn't Pa Kent already die, and they just "forgot" that so Kon would have a family to live with?). Lana can't die because AlMiles would never allow it. They would be out of jerk-off fodder if she ceased to exist. That leaves Chloe and Lionel, and since Lionel isn't exactly "close" to Clark, that leaves poor, defenseless Chloe. (not that Smallville hasn't already screwed up Superman canon).
Unless, of course, we come back to Hourglass, where whoever dies will be the person physically nearest Clark.
But. Clark has already nearly died this season (I was bored). Lex has already nearly died this season (I was nauseated by the fact that Lex dying was wrapped in all the Lexana It's A Wonderful Life bullshit). Jonathan has almost died a couple times, and did anyone really care then? Lana almost dies every FUCKING episode, and I think it's safe to say that no one reading this cares (and probably would like a hand in the process). Chloe's near-death experiences haven't been as numerous, and Lois only nearly dies in episodes where she has a big part. As for Martha... *shrugs* I got nothing to say about her.
And... the big propsal. That had better be a dream. Really, truly, had better. Clark, if Lana thinks you can't touch her, she isn't going to want to marry you. And you can't even use the "I want to wait for marriage to have sex" because that cow left the barn months ago (only to return sheepishly with its tail between its legs?). I'm definitely not an expert on relationships, love, or sex, but marriage is supposed to include all three (heh, especially at first). Clark, you can't find it in yourself to trust that she will be okay with your sekrit. Lana, CLARK IS AN ALIEN. A hot alien, but an alien nonetheless. I think what makes it even more ridiculous is that we know that in the future, Clark and Lana aren't together. Maybe they get married and get divorced real quick, or get it annulled like Clark did with Alicia (you know, Clark, your first wife? She could teleport. Alicia? Hello? *waves hand in front of Clark's blank stare*). If he does actually propose, I really want Alicia's name to come up. Just because. Hell, even talk about Whitney, since he asked Lana to wait for him (though she initally thought it was a proposal). And Lana loved Whitney. Wasn't love complicated then when he WENT TO THE MARINES?
Okay.
I've rambled about next week's episode for way too long.
And I think TV Guide or something said there's gonna be a sixth season. I really, really don't think I can stand to watch for that long.
Next week... man, let's just say next week better be pretty damn awesome with all this emotion-dulling hype.
(in case you don't know why I phrase subtitles like I do, it's a reference to Friends, where every episode title begins with "The One With.")
I'm really glad that it was cleared up that Lex built his panic room recently, 'cause I was majorly confused as to why we didn't know about it before. And is it where the vault was? Or is the vault in another room?
Lana on sex and romance:
"I can feel how much you want me." Yeah, the tensing, hesitation, and overall frigidity must really be a good indication of how much someone wants to bang you. And they were only kissing, right? He wasn't pressing an erection into her or anything.
"It shouldn't be complicated." Dude. Love is complicated. Yeah, in theory, it's not, but in practice, hell yeah things are going to go wrong and get in the way. Even in fairy tales there's some kind of conflict before they live happily ever after and ride off into the sunset or whatever. The more Clark loves you, Lana, the more complicated it's gonna get unless he's stupid and shares his secret.
And for the love of God, they can fool around in ways without Clark actually penetrating her and risking hurting her. These kids need the Internet. Though the odds of Lana ever checking out any sort of site related to sex, either for pornography or sheer education, are pretty slim.
Anyone else catch the anvil? Clark blathers about "I can't imagine loving anyone else" right as Lois pulls up. We get it. Lois and Clark actually get married in DC's fucked up little world. But this is also a world where kids die and grown men dress up as bats and robots have sex, so, who knows what's ever actually going on.
My response when Lex comes out of the room to save Lana: Dammit, Lex. I really will never figure him out.
Clark can apparently speed though/vibrate through doors like the Flash, unless Chloe was doing her homework with the door open. I will say, even with how much I dislike this show now, I do enjoy the little bits where Clark uses his powers around Chloe. Makes me happy.
Dude. When Sherriff Adams got shot, anyone else have "I Shot The Sherriff" running through their head? I'm awful, I know. I can't believe they killed her off. She's like the only character who seems to know that Clark has aces and stuff up his sleeve, other than Lana the Ignorant and Lex the In Denial.
If I hear someone on the show use the expression "psychotic break" one more time... I think I said that the *last* time it was used. I did groan quite a bit this time.
So, Lex is dying (again) and Lana's crying all over him, and the only thing he can think of to talk about is hair? And then the slashiest thing in a while: "Clark has really nice hair." You checking it out, Lexy? He does have nice hair. It would be nicer if TW were allowed to have it styled in something other than Farmboy Hick.
So... Clark was jealous that Lex saved Lana's life? They have quite the pissing contest going on, don't they?
Jonathan sold "the back 40," however much of the farm that is. Jonathan makes me sad. Very sad. his platitudes, his not taking what he could use *every* time, selling off his farm without talking to Martha (wasn't she uber pissed the last time he did that?)... Grr.
Overall, the episode wasn't horrendously awful, but it wasn't good, either. I'm tired of this magical election that sprung up out of nowhere, I'm tired of Clana, and I feel like they're trying to skooch Chloe even farther out of the show. Again. On Buffy Willow was the intel girl, but she was also part of the show! Chloe's more like the Lone Gunmen or something now.
I really, really don't care who dies. We've been told for four months that someone will die. Every week for the last several weeks. Heck, every *night* for the last several weeks if you watch other stuff on the WB. Every single last ounce of suspense has been taken out of it. Even *if* I didn't want just about everyone on the show to die anyway, we've had the last several months etc to harden ourselves to the truth that someone will die. Steel yourself enough, and you won't care.
Besides, the only person they could kill off is Chloe. *ducks things thrown at me for saying the words* Look into the future (like, pick up the latest Superman comic). Clark can't die. Lex can't die. Lois can't die. Since Kon lives with Ma and Pa Kent, neither of them can die or it won't fit canon (though didn't Pa Kent already die, and they just "forgot" that so Kon would have a family to live with?). Lana can't die because AlMiles would never allow it. They would be out of jerk-off fodder if she ceased to exist. That leaves Chloe and Lionel, and since Lionel isn't exactly "close" to Clark, that leaves poor, defenseless Chloe. (not that Smallville hasn't already screwed up Superman canon).
Unless, of course, we come back to Hourglass, where whoever dies will be the person physically nearest Clark.
But. Clark has already nearly died this season (I was bored). Lex has already nearly died this season (I was nauseated by the fact that Lex dying was wrapped in all the Lexana It's A Wonderful Life bullshit). Jonathan has almost died a couple times, and did anyone really care then? Lana almost dies every FUCKING episode, and I think it's safe to say that no one reading this cares (and probably would like a hand in the process). Chloe's near-death experiences haven't been as numerous, and Lois only nearly dies in episodes where she has a big part. As for Martha... *shrugs* I got nothing to say about her.
And... the big propsal. That had better be a dream. Really, truly, had better. Clark, if Lana thinks you can't touch her, she isn't going to want to marry you. And you can't even use the "I want to wait for marriage to have sex" because that cow left the barn months ago (only to return sheepishly with its tail between its legs?). I'm definitely not an expert on relationships, love, or sex, but marriage is supposed to include all three (heh, especially at first). Clark, you can't find it in yourself to trust that she will be okay with your sekrit. Lana, CLARK IS AN ALIEN. A hot alien, but an alien nonetheless. I think what makes it even more ridiculous is that we know that in the future, Clark and Lana aren't together. Maybe they get married and get divorced real quick, or get it annulled like Clark did with Alicia (you know, Clark, your first wife? She could teleport. Alicia? Hello? *waves hand in front of Clark's blank stare*). If he does actually propose, I really want Alicia's name to come up. Just because. Hell, even talk about Whitney, since he asked Lana to wait for him (though she initally thought it was a proposal). And Lana loved Whitney. Wasn't love complicated then when he WENT TO THE MARINES?
Okay.
I've rambled about next week's episode for way too long.
And I think TV Guide or something said there's gonna be a sixth season. I really, really don't think I can stand to watch for that long.
Next week... man, let's just say next week better be pretty damn awesome with all this emotion-dulling hype.