quiet_tiger (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
quiet_tiger) wrote2011-11-14 10:24 pm
quiet_tiger) wrote2011-11-14 10:24 pm
Ficlet: Working From Home
Title: Working From Home
Author: Quiet Tiger
Universe: General with DCAU
Genre: Drama-ish
Rating: R for implied violence
Characters/Pairings: Joker, Harley
Word Count: 751
Warnings: implied violence
Summary: Joker and Harley bring their work home for a night.
~*~
“No, no, no, that doesn’t work that way. Trust me, I’ve been doing this a long time.”
Joker watched as Harley stared at the hostage. No matter how many times he tried to explain proper terror, she just didn’t quite get it. She was too… Perky. And she looked sad far too often when the hostages started to cry and snivel all over themselves.
“Look them right in the eye, don’t be evasive. You need to ensure they understand that you mean it when you tell them you’re going to gouge out their eyes or carve your name in their forehead.”
“But Mistah J—”
“Don’t Mister J me. You know I’m right.”
Harley shrugged in what he assumed she thought was a cute manner. “I suppose so. You have done this before.”
“Many, many times, dear Harley.” It had gotten beyond the point where Joker could keep count. He was also starting to lose the ability to remember each one. Not that he’d been great at that in the first place, but between those hostages who’d gotten away, those he’d killed outright, those he’d left to starve, those he’d let free, and those rescued by Batman, they tended to blend together.
That was less true for the ones rescued by Batman. He loved seeing the Dark Knight, but hated that it meant his toy was being taken away by him.
“So, you kidnapped this one on his way home from school.”
“Yup. Pretended to be the old lady who needed help crossing the street. Gets ‘em every time. The good boys anyway. The rotten ones are more deserving of being taken, but they can be so hard to reach.”
“And you tied him to the special chair.”
“Extra handcuffs, too.”
Joker loved his special chair, because it was bolted to the floor in the middle of the room. Each of his hideouts had one; all the better to play with his toys.
“And then what?”
“And then… Well. I was hoping I could have you help me. You’re so much better at this part.”
Frowning, Joker eyed the hostage, a middle school boy with brown hair and brown eyes. Harley really needed to learn on her own. “It’s up to you. That’s the whole point—instead of causing mayhem on the cold, wet streets of Gotham, we bring the game back to us. You can do whatever you want to him.”
After more long seconds of staring, Harley caught her middle finger with her thumb, and then flicked the boy in the forehead.
“Try harder, Harley. This is important.”
Joker had to know that Harley was with him, and being with him meant being able to do anything to people that he wanted. If he needed Harley to brain someone with a baseball bat, she had to do it. If she needed to gas someone, she had to be able to do it. It was best to do things to people by herself, so that he wouldn’t have to coddle her as much. He needed her to be useful.
“But he’s kind of cute. Can’t we keep him?”
“He’d eat us out of house and home. We have Bud and Lou for that.”
“I do love my babies.”
“Focus. Why don’t you give him a haircut?”
“With what?”
Joker rummaged through the crate on the floor and came back up with a sternal saw. “See how close you can get to his skull without cutting into it.”
He handed the tool to Harley, and her eyes widened. Then she swallowed, and Joker knew what was coming next.
“I don’t think I can do this, Puddin’. I mean, he’s just sittin’ there, peein’ in his pants and looking so scared…”
There was a reason Joker usually saved hostages for when Harley was in Arkham or otherwise not around. She just didn’t see the fun in bringing the work home.
“Fine. Step back and watch the master.” He snatched the saw away from her and made sure it was powered up, and then gave the boy a haircut with it himself.
He only nicked the kid a few times.
And getting rid of the hair would make playing with the jigsaw that much more fun.
Working from home really could be a good time, and a break from all the monotony of his usual work. Even for him, it did get boring after a while, day in and day out.
He looked forward to the day Harley wasn’t such a wet blanket.
Author: Quiet Tiger
Universe: General with DCAU
Genre: Drama-ish
Rating: R for implied violence
Characters/Pairings: Joker, Harley
Word Count: 751
Warnings: implied violence
Summary: Joker and Harley bring their work home for a night.
~*~
“No, no, no, that doesn’t work that way. Trust me, I’ve been doing this a long time.”
Joker watched as Harley stared at the hostage. No matter how many times he tried to explain proper terror, she just didn’t quite get it. She was too… Perky. And she looked sad far too often when the hostages started to cry and snivel all over themselves.
“Look them right in the eye, don’t be evasive. You need to ensure they understand that you mean it when you tell them you’re going to gouge out their eyes or carve your name in their forehead.”
“But Mistah J—”
“Don’t Mister J me. You know I’m right.”
Harley shrugged in what he assumed she thought was a cute manner. “I suppose so. You have done this before.”
“Many, many times, dear Harley.” It had gotten beyond the point where Joker could keep count. He was also starting to lose the ability to remember each one. Not that he’d been great at that in the first place, but between those hostages who’d gotten away, those he’d killed outright, those he’d left to starve, those he’d let free, and those rescued by Batman, they tended to blend together.
That was less true for the ones rescued by Batman. He loved seeing the Dark Knight, but hated that it meant his toy was being taken away by him.
“So, you kidnapped this one on his way home from school.”
“Yup. Pretended to be the old lady who needed help crossing the street. Gets ‘em every time. The good boys anyway. The rotten ones are more deserving of being taken, but they can be so hard to reach.”
“And you tied him to the special chair.”
“Extra handcuffs, too.”
Joker loved his special chair, because it was bolted to the floor in the middle of the room. Each of his hideouts had one; all the better to play with his toys.
“And then what?”
“And then… Well. I was hoping I could have you help me. You’re so much better at this part.”
Frowning, Joker eyed the hostage, a middle school boy with brown hair and brown eyes. Harley really needed to learn on her own. “It’s up to you. That’s the whole point—instead of causing mayhem on the cold, wet streets of Gotham, we bring the game back to us. You can do whatever you want to him.”
After more long seconds of staring, Harley caught her middle finger with her thumb, and then flicked the boy in the forehead.
“Try harder, Harley. This is important.”
Joker had to know that Harley was with him, and being with him meant being able to do anything to people that he wanted. If he needed Harley to brain someone with a baseball bat, she had to do it. If she needed to gas someone, she had to be able to do it. It was best to do things to people by herself, so that he wouldn’t have to coddle her as much. He needed her to be useful.
“But he’s kind of cute. Can’t we keep him?”
“He’d eat us out of house and home. We have Bud and Lou for that.”
“I do love my babies.”
“Focus. Why don’t you give him a haircut?”
“With what?”
Joker rummaged through the crate on the floor and came back up with a sternal saw. “See how close you can get to his skull without cutting into it.”
He handed the tool to Harley, and her eyes widened. Then she swallowed, and Joker knew what was coming next.
“I don’t think I can do this, Puddin’. I mean, he’s just sittin’ there, peein’ in his pants and looking so scared…”
There was a reason Joker usually saved hostages for when Harley was in Arkham or otherwise not around. She just didn’t see the fun in bringing the work home.
“Fine. Step back and watch the master.” He snatched the saw away from her and made sure it was powered up, and then gave the boy a haircut with it himself.
He only nicked the kid a few times.
And getting rid of the hair would make playing with the jigsaw that much more fun.
Working from home really could be a good time, and a break from all the monotony of his usual work. Even for him, it did get boring after a while, day in and day out.
He looked forward to the day Harley wasn’t such a wet blanket.