What a bitch!

[quiet_tiger]

I'm so angry right now my stomach hurts. And I can't stop rubbing my thumb and fingers against my temple.

Fucking bitch. Jesus Christ.

It's one thing when I'm paranoid and think I'm being ignored, but when the ignoring just punches you in the face, it's utterly infuriating.

Bitch.

Comments

[monkeyputz.livejournal.com]

Who? What? Where? When? Why? and what did I miss?

Is everything ok? What happened?

[quiet--tiger.livejournal.com]

Remember those stupid girls I told you about that I had to work with for my video project?

Well. One of them and I have had a couple of outright arguments, because basically she thinks I'm being a bitch (oh, sorry, I'm "disrespectful").

But. Wednesday night we stayed late to finish editing and putting the project on a tape to show in class on Thursday, and I told her that if anything needed to be done on it, that I was free on Thursday and therefore could help her if she gave me a call to let me know something needed to be fixed. I would be happy to do it.

Now, you know that I'm having trouble with my Internet at the apartment, even the boys are now. So, I had told my group from the beginning that if they needed to reach me- if something couldn't wait a day- to call me.

Well, Thursday I got on campus around five, to print something out and generally use the Internet before class. I checked the one email account, it was againt full of emails from the group (the two girls email everyone over and over and over).

The first email was from the girl I stayed late with, the one I've been having the conflicts with. It said that there was a problem with the tape, and in the email she asked me specifically if I were free to help. The email was sent out some time in the morning, becuase she wanted to meet at noon.

...

What part of "I don't have Internet access at home so you need to give me a call if you need me" did she not understand?

Even if she had forgotten, the group member that I get along really well with sent her an email reminding her that I probably won't get the email until right before class, which of course was true.

So, Bitch Girl eventually sent an email back saying that she would just fix it by herself, and that she would fix a couple of other things while she was at it.

Excuse me? Fix what? Three of us decided on the final product, and I was really, *really* not cool with any one of us having the final say, let alone the girl who wanted to CUT OUT the meat and potatoes of the project, so to speak, because it was a little too long.

So, basically, all the ignoring of me was brought right to the forefront, documented in emails, and I was really, really pissed. I've spent so much of my time being ignored by people- roommates, my father, group partners- and I'm just so tired of it. And like I said, it's one thing if I'm imagining it, and yeah, people often genuinely can't hear me. But to have it just RIGHT THERE in emails... Wow.

You've known me for what, seven years? And you know I have a temper sometimes- it's genetic and it sucks. But have you ever seen me so lividly angry that I'm shaking? Last night I just kept digging my fingernails into my skin above my eyebrow, just so that I had something to do with my hand.

Maybe I'm overreacting. But. GOD. She just really struck a nerve.

[monkeyputz.livejournal.com]

Hon, i'm sorry. At least the project will be over soon and you won't have to deal with these stupid, ignorant people anymore. I understand where you are coming from, people have done that to me before on group projects and then had the teacher tell them that the project was wrong and have them outright blame me for it being wrong even though I'm the one who had suggested the changes the teacher wanted.

Some people are just so stubborn they won't ever listen to anyone else at all. These people unfortunately sometimes are in high positions - like your boss at work. I wish it wasn't that way. I wish everyone was open minded and open eared. I hope things start going better and that your next group is much better, especially at listening.

Also, yes you have known me for seven years and part of being friends for that long means that I am here for you. Next time you are feeling like that don't hesitate to call me. It is ok to call and bitch sometimes...and it's a healthier way to take out your agression, and that's what i'm here for. I'll see you on Saturday and you can have some fun to take away some of the stress.

[quiet--tiger.livejournal.com]

It's over now, project handed in and everything, and I really don't care what "we" get on it. It was just really frustrating.

And yeah, I know that I will have to deal with jerkoffs at a real job, but these are just students. Really unfortunate.

I'll see you tomorrow. :)