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quiet_tiger) wrote2005-09-09 10:11 pm
RL sucks...
And I certainly don't mean my friend who occasionally goes by "RL."
Use of profanity ahead.
I have never really been homesick. I've been to camp. Going to undergrad was just this thing I had to do where my whole existence was rearranged. But I dealt and didn't really have a problem other than typical things like girls being bitchy. But teenage girls are typically bitchy, so none of that was news.
But. Man. I just had my Orientation for grad school, and it was less than inspiring. I'm not going to go into detail, since no one cares about my RL crap anyway.
But. There are a lot of things that piss me off. Getting jerked around is in the top five. If you have a job, then you better fucking do it. Especially if it's to make other peoples' lives easier. Don't jerk people around if they aren't familiar with what is going on. I've (and I'm sure everyone) had to deal with people not doing their fucking jobs forever. If your office is open at certain times, then have it open then. Always. Don't close early. And don't close without letting people know. If you are holding a form that people need, then have it. And let people know they need it before they have to run around at the last minute. Have an answer to questions you are asked. Incompetency is not amusing. I don't like having my patience tested- it doesn't fair very well, and if I don't explode then I just simmer and my resentment grows until it establishes itself in an unhealthy habit, even if that's just gorging on cookies or syndicated TV. If I were a drug user, I'd have a serious problem. Thankfully I now have batslash to appease me, when my Internet works, that is.
If you are a school that emphasizes communication, then you should fucking be able to communication to matriculating students. And more than "here is this building, and this is this tradition." How about fucking "you have to be here to do this specific thing." Or, "here, because there is so much shit being thrown at you, let me give you the forms you need, rather than telling you to go to different places and confuse the fuck out of you."
And if you aren't going to be around to give out subway passes, which are pretty fucking important if people already paid for them and don't want to pay for tokens when they've already paid for the pass, fucking tell people so people aren't stranded (and I don't even mean the "royal" we- I wasn't the only one screwed over by an office being closed when no one in charge seemed to know it was going to be closed). How about you fucking tell people they need to come in and get the pass? Is that too fucking hard? Not everyone is psychic. And I know I'm not.
Let's just say that thus far I am not impressed. I kind of want to go home, where at least if things don't work out or make sense, I'm usually aware of the potential or can make adjustments. And since I can't really go home, I'd just like to curl into a ball in my apartment with cookies and Mountain Dew and TV (I'm seriously addicted to all three- they make me happy- at least it's not crack or heroin), which I essentially did today.
And I really miss the Hill (nickname for undergrad school). Yeah, graduating from it was just this thing we had to do, but now I really understand how much I enjoyed it there. How much I enjoyed knowing where things were and what was going on and knowing who to talk to if I needed something. And yeah, people actually being helpful and knowing what was going on was a really big fucking plus that I didn't know was apparently optional. The Hill wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But it was my home for four years, and it was good to me once I knew how to work it.
I am not prone to tears often. Today I almost broke down.
I miss the Hill. Who I was there. Even if the students here dress more like I do, and not Northface/Patagonia fleece chic (or, godforbid, that damn popped-collar pink polo shirt THING). Some of my new classmates are nice, even the guy who never shuts the fuck up (he's amusing at least), and my department seems okay, thank the sweet lord of whatever lord is in charge of things like that. And it's nice to have an actual mascot (really, a Revolutionary War soldier isn't really too cool).
But I'm listening to the popular song by the popular a capella group from the Hill, and I'm getting all nostalgic. And it's a good song. Makes fun of Yale and Harvard. And our tuition, which was quite ridiculous.
I know that it's always frightening to leave the familiar and enter the unknown. Kinda sucks a lot. And I'm sure I'll just get used to it and not want to go on a killing spree. Perhaps.
I miss my room on the Hill (junior and senior year I had the same dorm room- it was big, in the substance free dorm, and I made it all cozy and mine). Free cable and Internet and printing in the computer labs and the damn FREEDOM we had at the Hill. I mean, we didn't even have to tell our RA when people visited. The new school requires people sign in and crap, and no one can have any more than five people in their room at a time. This doesn't affect me because I live off-campus, but I think it's pretty stupid. And for some reason computer labs here aren't open after five pm. Ones at the Hill were open most of the night, at least til midnight. I think the newer one by the mailcenter was open until at least 2. Granted the Hill was in the middle of fucking nowhere, so it's not like some random street gang or something was going to walk through and steal all the printer paper or something. I had never realized how fortunate being in the middle of nowhere really was- it was really, really nice.
And the bookstore here is so small... like a quarter of the size of the other one. Granted my undergrad school stamped its name on everything that could possibly have a name stamped on it so it could sell stuff and make money. But the new one has like nothing in its store. It's weird. Huh. Just realized my little blue teddy bear from the Hill didn't make it with me on the move. Wonder where he is.
And all the computers are Macs. *spits on Macs* So if there are typing issues in any comments or posts, that's why, I have to relearn how to use the Mac keyboard.
*sigh* I know that I'm much more fortunate than most people on the planet. But that doesn't mean my buttons aren't allowed to be pushed. And it was my apartmentmate's birthday the other day, and he and some friends went clubbing tonight (I was invited but that's not really my thing- not much there for people who don't drink, smoke, dance, or have promiscuous sexual encounters), and he didn't say goodbye before they left from here. I hate when just because certain people are around, you become invisible to your friends. If I'm ever like that with anyone, I apologize. Let me know and I'll try to fix it.
Well. Now that you know a great many of MY hot buttons, what are yours?
Sorry for the rant, and I know no one cares and no one wants to hear anything I have to say unless there is gay sex involved, but sometimes I just need to talk, you know?
Christ. You really never know what you have until you lose it.
To keep with the slash thing people actually seem to be enjoy reading about, here is a companion-kinda link to the Justice League smut from the previous post. This one is about Batman and Robin.
And another pic:
I wonder if Batman has little Batlogo-stamped condoms... DC, where are your marketing people?! (DC really sucks sometimes- how is sucky Spider-man everywhere and not Batman and Superman?)
There are other pics in the gallery- some play around with characters from Disney movies... yeah, I didn't need to see that, either.
(sorry, the main url is http://onice.y-hosting.net/main.html)And you know that Work Safe thing? You ain't gonna find it at these links.
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And oh, another dirty/bad/wrong comic??
*looks around and cliks*
*eg*
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And yeah, another dirtywrong comic. I don't like this one that much, but it's Batman and Robin. *shrugs*
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LOVED Robin's face in the end!!
:D
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I do wonder if it's supposed to be Dick or Tim. My vote is Dick, just based on how he's drawn, but it could be either. Maybe even Jason. But then again, Robin is just Robin, so it probably doesn't matter.
Love your Robin icon, btw.
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*wink, wink*
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""
That's how I felt, too, like, it was funny, but kinda disturbing.
And yeah, the "disposing"- really. Gross. Maybe it's a guy thing?
But yeah, JL orgies. Rawr. Or something.
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(Anonymous) 2005-09-10 05:49 am (UTC)(link)*heeeeesnorfle*
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LOL at a random street gang stealing all the printer paper. Sounds like some of their policies fall under the "Just To Piss You Off" category. I recently had an experience with such a policy with the Fulbright people - apparently it's this high and holy Rule that you MUST book your flight on an American carrier. So I was all pissed because the Brazilian carriers charge about $800 for a round trip flight and the cheapest I could get on an American flight, after much fruitless searching for good deals, was $1500. So I sent the American reservation to the Fulbright people, and what do they do? Buy me a ticket on a Brazilian carrier instead. ::sigh::
Anyway, I was back on the Hill this past weekend and it was extremely extremely weird to be somewhere that was very familiar yet no longer "home." I felt both comfortable and out of place at the same time; obviously, I knew the campus and I knew many of the students and professors, but I was out of "the system," with no classes, keys, or meal card. Plus it just didn't feel the same without any of the '05ers there. What my visit kind of reinforced in my mind was the whole "you can never go back" thing. For better or worse we're done with that chapter in life. ::shrug:: I'm not saying this to depress you or anything, but, you'll notice too that if you go back for a visit, it feels really different.
Hang in there - like I mentioned before, I've never really met an orientation that I've liked, though yours sounded particularly ridiculously disorganized and stressful. I don't know if you're the same way as me, but I've noticed this pattern both in entering high school and college where I take a while to find my place in a new environment, and I'm typically rather miserable and nostalgic about the previous stage of my life, until I do. Then once I do find my niche, cool people to hang out with and fun things to do, I'm quite happy. So give yourself time and I know you'll learn how to work your new home too.
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Just a warning, though you've probably figured it out by now, there's a lot in my journal related to gay erotica...
I never understand why certain things must go A CERTAIN WAY even when it's so much easier to do things the way it makes sense to you, like buy cheaper tickets and stuff. The way this world works is amazing. And damn scary...
And I definitely know what you mean about knowing somewhere and it not being yours anymore. I visited my high school once I graduated, and it's a very weird feeling, and I'm sure it'll feel just as weird to go back to the Hill. But I want to see my friends, like you did. How was your party, or whatever you want to call your celebratory gathering?
Somehow I wasn't all depressed and nostalgic when I got to the Hill. I don't know why. It was just this place I had to go. But it's different this time, but I don't know why. Maybe it was just too annoying the way it was. Classes and work started this week, and I feel a lot better. And as you pointed out, with all your wisdom, just because the place is run like it's organized by monkeys, it doesn't mean I'm not getting my money's worth of education.
Speaking of cool people, this one cute guy was talking to me during our class break on Monday, and he was all friendly and saying hi and good bye. And then today I left the library (really, really disappointing compared to Burke- that place was gross looking on the outside but really quite impressive on the inside), and I bumped into another guy in my program. I just felt so happy to recognize someone! It'll all get better, I know. Just takes time, and all.
What's weird is that you know how Ham-Tech had fliers and emails and crap promoting events and clubs? Here there isn't anything that I've seen. Not even emails. My campus account has gotten like 6 emails all week. It's really weird. It's a totally different place, which sounds stupid to say, because of course it's different, but it's just totally different. It'll just take some getting used to, like everything else. But, at least it's not a new country, just a new state, where the sports guy on the evening news constantly compares the Sox and the Yankees- can you say "getting old soon"?
I hope you don't mind that I friended you, but this will probably be the easiest way to keep in touch while you're away, provided we both update. Heh.
Have a good flight and everything, since I probably won't talk to you before you leave. And don't forget to keep in touch!!!!! :)