quiet_tiger | Tips for *what* singles?

So, I'm checking my email account, and I see links for "ten things singles should have."

Wow. Really, what do these authors think about the average person? Maybe in these areas I'm just below average.

The tip for women that really got to me was this one:

"3. An Eminem CD
What's one of the first places a guy peruses when he walks into a woman's home? Her music collection. Good for you if you have an extensive one. But if all he sees is a stack of girl bands (say, the Indigo Girls, the Go-Go's, Joni Mitchell and the Bridget Jones' Diary soundtrack), he's going to panic. Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he'll be. It shows you have an open mind and aren't easily offended—and that's music to any man's ears. "

Really, why Eminem? There is plenty of "offensive" music out there. Why him in particular? Why not another rapper? Or a rock star with questionable music? Frankly I'd be a bit turned off by a guy with an Eminem cd. I sort of understand the logic, and it really helps in general to have diverse taste in music (so often I go through cravings for soft, melodic rock. And sometimes, I need to listen to agressive, three-chord punk. And every now and then Weird Al is awfully appealing.). Just... why Eminem? And one out-of-place cd isn't going to make him think you're all badass, he's probably just going to think someone left it behind.

And, does this work the other way? Should a guy with nothing but rap or metal or hardcore go out and buy an Ani Difranco album just to impress chicks? I'd be a little concerned. Then again even I don't listen to any female musicians.

And, for the guys.

Hehe, I actually disagree with or take issue with a lot of these. Let's take it in order.

I don't drink coffee, so the thought of a guy spending $200 for a fancy-ass coffee maker just makes me want to gag. And not every girl needs to be wowed by fancy-assed coffee. Want to impress me? Have more than milk and orange juice in your fridge (seriously, I don't drink milk and I really don't like orange juice that much).

I really can't understand why people wouldn't have a lamp by their bed anyway. But I read before I go to bed (otherwise I have trouble falling asleep), and I know not everyone does that.

I do agree with the nice underwear thing. And that it should be the same for girls. I doubt guys want to see granny panties, same as girls aren't turned on by bikini briefs.

7. $150+ jeans
Why cough up that much dough when you can find a seemingly-fine pair for much less? Because designer denim does make a difference—and you can wear them everywhere from a dive bar to a five-star restaurant, if paired with the right shirt and suit jacket. Check out stores that carry Diesel, Evisu, Paper Denim & Cloth, or Seven. Since every pair of jeans fits differently, you will need to try a few on: Err on the side of too tight as opposed to too baggy, as jeans do stretch a bit as they are broken in. Choose a pair that isn't too trendy (warning signs include more than five pockets, garish stitching, and too much "distress," like rips or bleaching) unless you're willing to buy into next season's style as well.

8. $200+ dress shoes
Accept it: Girls are into footwear, and your feet will be one of the first things she looks at. Invest in quality black leather tie-ups — which will never go out of fashion and will match with most any jeans, pants or suit — to make a great first impression every time. If she knows her shoes, she'll be hoping to find you could afford a pair of Bruno Magli, Kenneth Cole, Steve Madden, or John Varvatos. Sure, they’re not cheap, but hey, it could be worse: We could be the ones in heels.

One word: EEEEEEEKKK!!!!

The thought of spending any more than $30 on a pair of jeans slays me. They're jeans! They're gonna get worn and gross looking eventually, why spend half a week's pay on them? Jeans look the same to me. I don't particularly care about brands. I wouldn't even recognize different jeans if the brand wasn't printed on the back pocket. If anything matters least to me, it's fancy jeans, of all things. Maybe there is a difference I can't see. But if the jeans fit, then they're good. And "next season's style"? WTF?? THEY'RE JEANS!!!! (yes, spoken by someone who pays as little for pants as she can because she's cheap). If we're going out somewhere that needs something nice, pick up a cheap pair of khakis.

And the shoes: holy crap. *I* don't have shoes that cost that much. And not all "girls are into footware." I know I'm in the minority here, but bear with me for a minute. As with jeans, shoes really don't mean anything to me. If I have the choice, I wear the same pair of sneakers. And then I have dress shoes and two pairs of dress boots (one black, one brown), and some flip flops, and some party boots (including my knee-high black boots I've worn for the Rocky Horror parties), and my indoor soccer cleats I use for fencing. And a pair of nice heels, and an old pair of spare sneakers. And I really think that's it. Everything I need. If you need more than 10 pairs of shoes total, your life sounds complicated (even if you match shoes to colored outfits every day).

If I even look at a person's feet, it's usually just because my eyes wander there. I don't search out peoples' shoes unless there's something I'm specifically searching for. Guys: not every girl will be on top of you for wearing shoes that you got at Payless. Hell, less money spent on shoes and clothes means more money potentially spent on me. Or so you can stock your cd collection or movie collection with good stuff. Or pay your electric bill or something.

I just don't understand spending all that money on jeans and shoes, but then again those things aren't important to me. When I first met one of my friends, I only saw him in about 4 t-shirts, and he typically wore each shirt for three days or so at a time. Gross, yeah, but it's part of who he is. He's gotten better, btw, and actually changes his shirt much more frequently. But I wasn't drawn to him by his clothes, clearly, I was drawn to him because I liked talking with him and thought we had a lot in common. Besides, if a guy isn't into his clothes, then it means he probably won't be too much into my clothes, and as a result I don't have to change what I wear, either.

Accept me for who I am, not because I have a certain cd or spend oodles of money on clothing. Real life isn't junior high.

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Damn, that stuff is ridiculous. Also, 5-star restaurants let in people wearing expensive jeans? Um... no? Not unless you're disgustingly rich and famous.

As for guys and shoes... Unless he's wearing sneakers when he should be wearing dress shoes--e.g. a formal event or (*gasp*) a 5-star restuarant--I really don't give a damn what he's got on his feet. Unless he wears flip-flops. Flip-flops are forbidden except for, say, pool or beach situations. I fucking hate flip-flops.

Great, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks that those articles were ludicrous.

Yeah, jeans are a definite "no" for fancy-assed restaurants. And I'd much rather go to a pub or something, rather than some place with food I can't pronounce and entres that cost more than $20.

Yeah, guys and shoes just don't concern me. It's nice if what he's wearing is appropriate for the occasion, but other than that it doesn't matter.

I like flip flops, but I don't wear them out much. And guys and flip flops don't always work, because they have hairy toes and stuff. Not attractive. Shoes... oy. Really not worth getting worked up over. :)

I find girls in flip-flops somewhat less ridiculous than guys in flip-flops, just because guys have such big feet and they look rather silly in teeny little sandle-things.

And I'm totally with you on the pub = superior to fancy & pretentious restaurant issue.

Good to know there are still sane people in the world. For certain definitions of "sane", anyway. ;)

Now that you mention it, big-footed guys in flip flops do look kinda stupid, in addition to hairy toes and thick toe-knuckles.

And hey, we're sane.

Sort of.

By at least one definition, I'd like to think.

At least we know that our hard-earned money is better spent elsewhere than on ridiculously expensive pants. The whole concept of "fashion" is just beyond me, as you know. :)

That's one definition of sane that I can buy into. :) I don't really get "fashion" either. I know what I like, I have a pretty good idea of what (within that category) looks good on me, so that's what I buy. Simplicity at its finest.

Fashion just seems like the most stupid human construction ever (and humans have certainly created a lot of dumb restrictions for themselves).

You and I dress, as near as I can remember, fairly similarly, though I do add a bit of color to my wardrobe other than dark blue once in a while ;). That's probably one thing that attracted me to the fencers when I came across you guys: you dressed like regular people, not all preppy or anything (okay, so maybe not "regular" but at least more like me). Nate and Pete weren't exactly fashion plaits.

"Simplicity at its finest."

Rock on. If it fits, and looks good, and is affordable, then it really can't get any easier. The concept of buying new things for each season and year and focusing on matching and coordinating just boggles my mind. My friend talked me into going to a club the other night (long horrible story I'll share if you like), and one of her friends got a new shirt, new shoes, and a new purse to all match, to go to a crowded, dark room. I wish I had that kind of money. I am perfectly content wearing my 4 year old The Living End t-shirt. Life is too complicated as it is, you know?

I still can't get over the $200 jeans thing.

Tips for what singles?

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