No, Really, It's Canon

[quiet_tiger]

Title: No, Really, It's Canon
Characters: Clark, Lex
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor
Disclaimer: Characters- not mine.  Allusions to DC canon: sort of mine.   The words: belong to the English language.  What I did with all of these things: mine.

Summary: Drabbly bit in which Clark poses a hypothetical question to Lex.

Note: I read too much Teen Titans fan fic because I like Tim.  To understand why this little fic may be funny, you need to know who Kon-El is.  This just popped into my head yesterday when I couldn't sleep.  Written in less than a half-hour, barely read over.

"Hey, Lex, what would you say if Warrior Angel and Devilicus had a child together?"

Lex looked up from his comic book at the large farmboy as said farmboy crossed the room.  He was reading the latest Warrior Angel comic book to kill time as he waited for Clark to come over.

Lex narrowed his eyes as Clark smiled.  "Excuse me?"

"I was thinking on the way over about how weird it would be if Warrior Angel and Devilicus had a kid together."  Clark sat down on the couch across from Lex.

"That's asinine. First of all, Clark, they're both guys.  Second, they're not gay.  Third, how would that lead to any storyline other than who changes the next diaper and which preschool the child should go to?"

Clark shrugged.  "Weirder things have happened.  All those old heroes seem to have been created by radioative something or other.  Maybe because of that one of them can carry children."  Clark appeared to think for a few seconds.  "Ooo!  Maybe the kid could actually be some sort of clone."

Trying to enjoy the game, even if Clark was high or something, Lex put the book on the arm of his chair, sat back, and steepled his fingers together.  "So this clone would only be one of theirs, but he would be raised as belonging to both of them?"

"Maybe there's a way to make the clone part of both of them.  Like, splicing both of their genes together."

"That makes no sense.  It wouldn't really be a clone then, right?"

"You're asking me?"

"It was your idea that my heterosexual hero have a biological child with another man."

"I just thought it'd be neat for them to have a child together.  It would be such a weird, yet exciting way for the comic to go."

Lex scrunched up his eyebrows and gave Clark his best horrified-and-questioning-your-sanity look.  "Clark.  Warrior Angel and Devilicus are not gay.  They are not going to have a child together.  Nor are they going to clone themselves into one body, creating a child that is genetically each of theirs."

Clark huffed.  "Fine, Lex.  Just suck all the fun out of the whole idea."

Lex rolled his eyes.  "I will, thank you."  Lex rose to lead Clark to the garage so they could pick a car to go into town with.  As he walked, he muttered to himsef, "Cloning to give them a child.  What's next, Peter Parker and the Green Goblin adopting twins?"

**************

I mean, really, was DC on crack when they cooked up Kon?

Comments

DC has good crack! *G*

[laceymcbain.livejournal.com]

Ah, I love DC. Everything is canon! I know I was absolutely stunned and thrilled when I heard that was actually canon. I love my comics.

"It was your idea that my heterosexual hero have a bilogical child with another man."

Bwahaha! I'm pretty sure that's the conversation they had at DC. Oh, and I see now it's "biological". And I think you wanted "waited" in the 3rd sentence. Nor are they going o clone - "to" - yes, you catch my typos, and I'll catch yours. *g*

And I like the ending with Peter and Goblin. (That hasn't happened in Marvel yet, has it? Just checking.)

Re: DC has good crack! *G*

[quiet--tiger.livejournal.com]

My friend gave me the whole "what happened once they killed off Superman" schtick, and I really couldn't believe it when he said that they made a clone of both Lex and Clark. Just. Could not believe. Slashers don't even have to try.

I would love to have been a fly on the wall at that meeting. "Let's let Clark and Lex have a kid together." *Stunned silence* "Like, adopting?" "No, like, we make a clone that's part of both of them. That way, Superman will always exist." *more silence* Unanimous decision: "I love it!"

And thanks for the typo-fix. I only read it over once, and typed and read while watching TV, as I'm prone to do, so my full attention wasn't on those darn little details.

Besides, waiting, wanting... Lex usually does both for Clark, right?

I had to use something with Marvel, because I figure that in Smallvilleland, anything DC is canon somewhere. And I know jack about any other Marvel characters, except I suppose my very limited knowledge of the X-men.

And is Marvel as cracked-out as DC is? I don't know. We'll just have to find out. Harry comes home one day to Peter: "Hey, Peter, the agency called my office, the kids are ours!" *much rejoicing*