quiet_tiger | "Just Say No"

Title: Just Say No
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, Romance
Summary: Lex does something theoretically for Clark. Clark isn't amused.

“Lex, what the heck is this?”

Lex, barely able to hide his smirk, glanced up at his fiance. Clark only swore in that tone of voice when he was exasperated, which was usually with Lex.

“What’s what?” Lex pushed his laptop away across the desk and locked his hands together on top of his desk.

“This!” Clark walked around the desk and thrust the t-shirt he was holding at Lex. After Lex took it, Clark crossed his arms in a not-quite-Superman pose.

Fully knowing what the shirt would say, Lex opened it up anyway.

The shirt was a hideously bright green, which Lex had chosen because it closely resembled a certain extraterrestrial mineral. The front of the shirt featured a drawing of Superman, looking like he was choking. Printed on the shirt in bold type was “Just Say No To Kryptonite.”

“Well, Clark, it looks like someone wants to send the message that Kryptonite is bad for you. Sounds like a worthy cause.”

“Bad for me in particular, or everyone in general?” Clark still hadn’t broken his pose.

“Well, the answer is the same for both categories. It makes you sick or an asshole or worse depending on the type, and it makes other people psychotic. The stuff should be banned and destroyed. If I didn’t own it all.”

Lex watched some of the tension ease out of Clark’s shoulders as he uncrossed his arms, only to watch it reform as Clark clenched his hands into fists.

He pointed a finger accusingly at Lex. “You knew about this, didn’t you?!” Lex was no longer able to restrain his smirk. “You were behind all of it, weren’t you?” Somehow, the finger became even more accusatory.

“Clark, I thought it would be fun. People love t-shirts for some reason, they’ll think it’s cute, they’ll drop the cash, all of which goes to charity, and then they’ll be happy, and we can be happy. No harm, no foul.”

“But… but, it looks like one of those old D.A.R.E. posters, like Kryptonite is a drug you can buy on the street. God forbid people start smoking it, or liquefying it and injecting it.”

*Dare*? Must be some public school thing. What he missed by going to private school… “Clark, no one will think you can buy it on the streets. Remember? We got rid of all the loose bits years ago. The only place anyone can find it in the world is in two of my labs. And we know that that supply is only for research purposes.”

Lex could sense Clark’s resolve weakening. He handed him back the shirt, and Clark took it and opened it up again. After looking at it for another minute, Clark shrugged. “It’s a pretty good likeness, at least.” Finally, Clark dropped down into Lex’s lap. Lex grunted at the weight, then shifted until they were both comfortable. “And the color is perfect.”

Lex nodded. “I thought so. Trust me that people will only consider it a joke. Like the Lewinsky thing, or Bush senior vomiting on the Japanese Prime Minister, or Douglass’s chauffer hitting that deer. No one but me, your parents, Chloe, and Pete would even know about you and Kryptonite if that one woman from Smallville you were trying to rescue here in the city hadn’t been wearing a necklace of the stuff.”

Clark shook his head. “What were the odds of that? At least no one has made the connection. Not like anyone could find any of the stuff anymore anyway, thanks to you.”

Clark maneuvered them so that he could kiss Lex, and Lex knew he was forgiven. He still thought the shirts were damn funny, no matter what Clark thought.

Clark pulled back. “What charity?”

“The Children’s Hospital and the National Wildlife Conservation Effort.”

“Not even LexCorp charities.”

“Of course not. The money will be made from your likeness, so it goes to your favorite charities.”

“What about the Astronomy Society?”

“That’s what the mugs and stickers are for.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Note: I came across this t-shirt at one of those stands in the middle of the mall, and was amused that someone came up with the concept and someone else put it on a t-shirt. Then again, just about anything seems to get onto shirts. Another on at this stand was a yellow one with a drawing of Robin on it that said, “I’m A Teen Wonder.” I just found that one horribly amusing in all kinds of bad ways. And think of Bruce’s reaction if he saw that Dick, or even Tim, had had something like that printed up!

Christ, only took me three tries to post this... I really need my own computer back.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

its asad
i lied to manager man about going to the airport...i actually went to meet some friends who were out

so how was team night...any memorable incidents?

Tsk! Actually, I had a good time. I only left when I did because I have to catch a train tomorrow and I still need to pack a bit and add another entry to my journal. We went to Applebee's, I sat with Taryn, Dennis, Angela, and Seanna, and mostly talked to Taryn and Dennis. Taryn is a really cool girl, we have a lot in common. Dennis is nice, too. Angela and Seanna are kind of loud, the people I hate being seen in public with, but they pretty much had their own conversation going, anyway. Dennis said he felt the same way we did when he first started, kind of afraid and his parents were really skeptical of the whole thing. I asked how they knew if we met with people if they didn't buy anything, and I think Manager Man 2 and Manager Chick pretty much just blew me off by saying "a little birdie tells us" (Manager Man 2's words).

What did you think when we were told that a lot of people only had three demos in the last week? Were you as horrified by the seeming lies we've been fed? I'm not going to feel bad about taking yesterday off. And I would feel bad about this weekend if I hadn't had it planned for a month. And bullshit on the "H+8" being the most popular set! There were only like 10 names on the sheet people were signing, and I'm assuming that's from the whole summer thus far. I hate being lied to! But I think I hate it more when the lies are so easily discovered.

We might go bowling next week for team night. I think if I hung out with you, Taryn, and Dennis I could have a really fun night. But you know what kills me? I mean, other than they do this at all, but that they do it on Thursdays. It's like none of them have families at all, and then we get to hear them say shit about having to get up early after being out late. Just... schedule yourself later, or make the night Friday, or whatever. And you know, I really wonder what the average fast start is. But I bet I'd get a load of crap even if I did ask.

How was your night?

"Just Say No"

how was team night

Re: how was team night